Speed reading
Thursday, December 31, 2015
Monday, December 28, 2015
Parker loves her Aunt Wendy.
Friday, December 25, 2015
Bookstore conversations, part 2
Wednesday, December 16, 2015
P: Ooh! What’s this thing?
Me: It’s a train whistle.
P: We should take this home and add it to our musical instruments.
Me: We already have a lot of musical instruments at home. I don’t think we need any more. A train whistle is very noisy and it’s only for train conductors to use.
P: I think I want to be a train conductor.
Me: Well, when you grow up you can be whatever you want. But you’re still little and we don’t need a train whistle right now.
P: We do. Trust me. [she then reassuringly puts her hand on my shoulder] Let’s do this.
I did not buy the whistle and I told her to ask Santa for one. Hopefully she’ll have forgotten about it by Christmas.
Me: It’s a train whistle.
P: We should take this home and add it to our musical instruments.
Me: We already have a lot of musical instruments at home. I don’t think we need any more. A train whistle is very noisy and it’s only for train conductors to use.
P: I think I want to be a train conductor.
Me: Well, when you grow up you can be whatever you want. But you’re still little and we don’t need a train whistle right now.
P: We do. Trust me. [she then reassuringly puts her hand on my shoulder] Let’s do this.
I did not buy the whistle and I told her to ask Santa for one. Hopefully she’ll have forgotten about it by Christmas.
Monday, December 7, 2015
The Biscuit and I went to Toys R Us in Times Square before it closes at the end of the month. I left my phone at home so the only image is this terrible picture of us on the ferris wheel. #thebiscuitlife #biscuitinthebigapple (at Toys R Us Times Square)
Wake up call
Tuesday, December 1, 2015
When I got pregnant, no one told me how glamorous motherhood could be.
This morning I was woken up by the sound of small shuffling feet. I opened my eyes to find The Biscuit staring at me with her pajama bottoms down around her ankles and her hand outstretched.
P: “I need help washing my hand.”
Me, barely awake: “What happened?”
P: “There’s poop on it because I tried to wipe my butt by myself and I didn’t do a good job.”
Me: 😐
I’m sure Beyoncé has the same super-glamorous morning routines. Thankfully, the toilet training is going well.
This morning I was woken up by the sound of small shuffling feet. I opened my eyes to find The Biscuit staring at me with her pajama bottoms down around her ankles and her hand outstretched.
P: “I need help washing my hand.”
Me, barely awake: “What happened?”
P: “There’s poop on it because I tried to wipe my butt by myself and I didn’t do a good job.”
Me: 😐
I’m sure Beyoncé has the same super-glamorous morning routines. Thankfully, the toilet training is going well.
Tuesday, November 10, 2015
Monday, September 28, 2015
P: Sshhh. I’m reading.
Sunday, September 27, 2015
Beauty is ...
Thursday, September 24, 2015
In a word, beauty is vulnerability. So says my friend and photographer Shannon Michelle.
She photographed me a few years back in my lingerie. It was a boudoir shoot that became a framed photograph for Andy. Even though I’d known Shannon for a while, I had to down a couple of drinks just to loosen up and feel comfortable enough to take my clothes off in front of a professional lens.
I’ve always had a pretty good relationship with my body. It has flaws, like all bodies do, but I’m mostly good with mine. My grandmother stressed good posture growing up so I almost never slouch. I don’t exercise much and, thanks to genetics, I don’t really have to. I eat well and makes sure I’m not taking in more calories than I can burn. I’m also terribly vain. If I notice a few clinging pounds, I cut back/move more/change things to “fix” that. I wish my butt and hips were a little fuller (like Beyoncé) but everyone wants what they don’t have, I guess.
She photographed me a few years back in my lingerie. It was a boudoir shoot that became a framed photograph for Andy. Even though I’d known Shannon for a while, I had to down a couple of drinks just to loosen up and feel comfortable enough to take my clothes off in front of a professional lens.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Monday, September 7, 2015
Some days she’s the sweetest kid
Tuesday, September 1, 2015
Some days she’s an absolute beast.
Every day I get a solid reminder of what motherhood is really about.
Today I took The Biscuit to a lovely children’s bookstore. When we went to grab lunch, a random stranger (who I assume does not read minds) sat down exactly where she wanted to sit. Oh, the injustice!
A toddler screaming at me because a stranger sat at the table she wanted is … exhausting.
Wanting to punch a child is normal, I guess. All parents, whether they can admit it or not, have thought about harming an inconsolable little person. Actually doing such a thing is horrible and I would never hurt The Biscuit like that.
That’s my win today. Not punching my daughter. Instead, I shot video of her screaming on the sidewalk in midtown, kept my composure, hauled her home wailing and flailing (much to the dismay of gawking strangers), poured myself a midday glass of wine and made her Andy’s problem.
No matter how great a job I think I’m doing as a parent, this little person can strip me of whatever pride I have. She makes me feel so inadequate I want to cry and hide.
There is no manual for this and, real talk, I’m out of my league.
Every day I get a solid reminder of what motherhood is really about.
A toddler screaming at me because a stranger sat at the table she wanted is … exhausting.
Wanting to punch a child is normal, I guess. All parents, whether they can admit it or not, have thought about harming an inconsolable little person. Actually doing such a thing is horrible and I would never hurt The Biscuit like that.
That’s my win today. Not punching my daughter. Instead, I shot video of her screaming on the sidewalk in midtown, kept my composure, hauled her home wailing and flailing (much to the dismay of gawking strangers), poured myself a midday glass of wine and made her Andy’s problem.
No matter how great a job I think I’m doing as a parent, this little person can strip me of whatever pride I have. She makes me feel so inadequate I want to cry and hide.
There is no manual for this and, real talk, I’m out of my league.
Sunday, August 30, 2015
Saturday, August 29, 2015
Macaron monster
Tuesday, August 25, 2015
She always asks for half of my half.
No way, kid.
Princess culture
Monday, August 24, 2015
We have consciously denied Parker access to the Disney princess universe.
Princess culture, as it’s come to be known, is not something I want to introduce into her life. Princess culture is not just about fairy tale magic, it is also a constant narrowing of what it means to be feminine. Princesses don’t run or play in the dirt or build things. The idea that you’re only important if you’re pretty, love pink, and waiting to be rescued/fall in love with a man is absurd. We want to create a world of diverse opportunity for our daughter.
Disney has a sad history of highly problematic female characterizations and storylines (from Snow White’s servitude to the Little Mermaid giving up her voice for love). Today at the park I realized that keeping her in the dark about this stuff might limit her social interactions with other girls her age.
Two young girls (maybe aged 4 and 6) were singing the songs and assigning each other characters from the movie “Frozen.” The Biscuit stood nearby watching them for a while before she approached. The older girl gave her some serious side eye while the younger one asked her if she wanted to play “Frozen” with them.
“Do you want to be Anna or Elsa,” she asked.
“I’m Parker,” came my kid’s perfectly dry reply.
She has no idea who Anna or Elsa are. She’s never seen the movie or heard the songs or played dress up in the costumes that were everywhere this past Halloween. Part of me is proud to have shielded her from this piece of pop culture history. But today I felt left out for her.
Sunday, August 23, 2015
Thursday, August 20, 2015
Tuesday, August 18, 2015
Sunday, August 16, 2015
P: No because Chinese food has peanuts in it and I’m allergic to peanuts.
Also, that's Mila Kunis is the back corner of the photo.
Friday, July 24, 2015
Thursday, July 16, 2015
Monday, July 13, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
Thursday, July 2, 2015
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
“Take a video of me sleeping in the park.”
Sunday, June 28, 2015
I'm an expert!
Tuesday, June 23, 2015
Apparently, Boston Weddings Magazine thinks I know what I'm doing. Joke's on them. I'm making this shit up as I go.
Friday, June 19, 2015
Tuesday, June 16, 2015
Photo booth shenanigans at the Museum of Natural History.
A decade of love
Thursday, June 11, 2015
The man and I celebrated 10 years of marriage last week. We celebrated by throwing a wonderful party at the same hotel where we got married in 2005. It was like a mini version of our wedding, with a renewal of our vows and a "reception" that featured the same menu from our first one.
The fine people at Moho Creative captured everything beautifully and we are lucky to have so much love in our lives.
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
Friday, May 29, 2015
In honor of #NationalBiscuitDay, here’s a video of P reading with daddy last night. She just turned 3 and she’s killing it. #proudmama #thebiscuitlife
3 years
Friday, May 22, 2015
Current stats: 38 inches tall; 33 pounds
Tooth count: She’s got the full set of 20.
New tricks: full sentences, including lots of French; running, climbing, jump spins, helping in the kitchen. Oh, yeah and she’s READING!
New words/phrases: She’s got the pleasantries down. “Hello, my name is Parker.” “Nice to meet you.” We’re getting lots of spontaneous “please,” “thank you,” and “I love you.”
It seems like she’s always talking; to us, to herself, to her toys. She has a continuous stream of consciousness thing going. It’s amazing and irritating at the same time. The only time she’s quiet is when she’s playing an iPad game or watching a movie.
THE LATEST
We’ve been in New York for a month already. Life is busy but I’ve been trying to keep the blog updated with photos of our city adventures. In a month, we’ve been to the Children’s Museum, a marionette show in Central Park, ridden the subway all over the place, been to most of the playgrounds on the west side of the park, ridden the Bryant Park Carousel, eaten a hotdog from a cart, she’s started attending Bright Horizons early education daycare, and attended a classmate’s birthday party.
For her third birthday, we decided against a party. We just didn’t have the time or energy to do another one. So we took her to F.A.O. Schwarz flagship store on Fifth Avenue. It’s closing in July (the rent’s too damn high) so now was as good a time as any to visit.
We got there about 10 minutes before they opened and before the weekend crowds got crazy. Can you tell she’s excited to go in?
She got to see the toy soldier open the door and was the first kid through. I don’t think she even realized it was a store. Maybe she thought it some kind of kid museum, where nothing is for sale. We just wandered around with her while she went “Oh, look at that!” for two hours.
She ended up with a few new books and a plush WALL-E. Of course she had to take a turn on the Big Piano. She almost wasn’t heavy enough for it to make any sound but she managed.
After that, we had a very fancy afternoon tea/lunch in the Palm Court at The Plaza Hotel. The children’s menu was directly from Eloise, the main character in Kay Thompson’s books about a little girl who lives at the famous hotel.
There was champagne, hot tea and yummy treats for me and Andy. The Biscuit got amazing little scones, tea sandwiches, desserts and pink lemonade. All peanut free, of course.
After lunch, she got a well-earned nap. Then we spent some time with family in New Jersey until bedtime. It was a super-fun day but, even without throwing another 40-person party, I earned some rest myself. I hope she remembers these little experiences or maybe she’ll read this blog in the future. Cheers!
